from the travels of hava and scott

The days leading up to the wedding were an absolute whirlwind of activity - and there is simply no way that I can get through it all. Suffice to say it was an experience I will never forget and there are stories enough for several long nights of entertainment. You provide the food and wine - we'll bring the pictures and memories. But until then, here is a little smattering to give you a peek. A few highlights.

1. Wedding Counseling

Even though Guy and Anja had gone through counseling before they left Canada, the pastor that was going to marry them in Cameroon wanted to get together for a few sessions as well as go over the agenda for the wedding. This started the first morning we were in Bafousam. Having spent all our time together, it seemed normal for Scott and I to tag along to the church. We wanted to take a look at the building and think about how we were going to take pictures. Here we are in the church.

I think the pre-wedding stress was starting to hit Guy. (A funny little side story about the guy sleeping in the back of the picture. He was our cab driver. On the way to the church we flagged down a cab, piled in and attempted to move up a tiny little hill. The cab broke down. We jumped out, and grabbed the next cab we saw (the guy in the picture). He became our official driver for the next 4 days, came with us everywhere we went, ate with us, took us shopping, and was soon like family. Watch for him in the photos!)

So there we are admiring the sunny church and we get the word that the pastor is ready to meet with Guy and Anja. Ok, we said we would wait for them in the church and have a look around. 2 min later, Guy's father comes running over and asks us why we are not coming. We quickly learned that like most other things, marriage counseling in Cameroon is a group event. There were about 12 people in attendance including Guy's parents, god parents, interested aunts or uncles, Scott and I (representing Anja's family), the special couple, the pastor and the church secretary.

We have to admit that it felt a bit awkward at first - like we were intruding on some really personal territory. We don't realize how culture influences our sense of privacy until we are put into these situations. 5 min into the discussion as Guy and Anja are explaining why they want to marry each other in front of an attentive audience, Scott leans over and whispers that he doesn't feel quite right being here. A second later someone asks Scott why he is just sitting there instead of taking pictures. Scott stands up and takes a few quick snaps from the back of the room. "No! No! go behind the pastor's desk! Get a good close up! Where's the video camera?!?" Another winning moment was when we went around the room and had to dispense a piece of marital advice. Well, they didn't actually ask me. Scott got the honour, what with being the head of the family and all. Now anyone who knows my dear husband will see the humour in this as he is not one to be put on the spot, and making speeches of any sort is not exactly a strong point. Not to mention the fact that that we had been married for all of 2 months at this point. I was filled with alternating waves of panic and giggles as I slowly saw his turn coming closer. (Here he is thinking of something to say!)

But lo and behold he pulled it off with something generic enough that it now escapes our memory. I think it was something to do with praying. Always a winning theme. Now that we have been married for a year, we are fountains of knowledge on the subject....but we'll save that for another post. What we did get out of this experience though, was an appreciation for the strong sense of community in Cameroon. Getting married here is more than just a decision between 2 people - it involves a larger community who is willing to support and foster the relationship. I think we could learn a lot from that.

2. Buying an Outfit for the Groom

Guy made the decision that he was going to wear a traditional outfit for the wedding. So we set out to find it. It was a little different than the usual experience. I think pictures are enough to tell this story

And....

VOILA!!!!

3. Venue Hunting

We went to take a look at the venue that had been booked for the reception, and made our way to the banquet hall of the Hotel Preisident. Suffice to say that what we found was....well...less than presidential material. We knew that we were in a small city in Cameroon, west Africa, so at first we weren't quite sure what to expect. If this was all there was, we would just make do. Then we met the caterer - this lovely lady in the curlers and she promptly informed us that the room we had was worst in town.

Not exactly what you want to hear 2 days before a wedding. She assured us that we could do better and so we piled into her car and hit the streets looking for a new venue. An exhausting 5 hours later we had seen all the great places that one could use for a reception. And all these great places were booked up! There was a glimmer of light though. The last venue we saw was booked, but the bride had never returned to pay a deposit. If they didn't get the $$ from the bride the next morning, the place was ours. The next morning we found out that the missing bride had been in the hospital. She was indeed using the venue, and we were indeed going to have to live it up presidential style! Oh the drama!!! Though there were tears looming, we decided to take it as a challenge and look at the bright side of life. For example, the fantastic fake chicken in a patch of dirt that greeted the guests on the way to the banquet room.

Nothing says elegance like a fake chicken - in a patch of dirt.

#4. Decorating

We had one day to tackle the room and so we made a plan of action, delegated jobs and went to it. Guy lit a fire under the hotel management to get the room cleaned up, Scott started attacking the electric system to figure out which loose wires hanging off the ceiling were connected to which light bulbs that where not lighting up and Anja and I went out in search of lots and lots of fabric to cover everything with. Our driver rose to the occasion, escorting us through the fabric market and haggling the prices down for us and then a team of people met at the hall to get to work.



It would be nice to say that with our hard work and positive attitudes everything looked beautiful in a couple hours and we were ready to go. But things are always a bit more complicated than that. To summarize, halfway through the decorating, the caterer showed up and announced that she was in charge of the decorating and that it was all being done wrong - or something like that. Then there were a few shouting matches and tears and the four of us going "Huh? Does anybody know what is going on?" And people stormed in and out and it was late, and we were told to leave, and so we did - all the while still saying "Huh?!? Does anyone know what is going on?" Oh the drama. And the next morning (ie the day of the wedding) we came back with much fear and trepidation to find that Cinderella's godmother had made a visit to the room, and it was all awash with satin and pink ribbons and amazingly transformed. And we were so stunned that we forgot to take a picture! Sorry!!!

I would like to take this moment to say a bit about Anja.

Most brides turn into basket cases before their weddings. And most brides do not travel to Africa to meet their extended family for the first time, to have their wedding in a place where everyone is speaking a different language, and where despite your best attempts to control or plan events - there is simply not a lot that is in your control. I don't know how she did it, but she did - with sunny positive attitude, and lots of laughs. Take a second to give her a little ovation. She really deserves it! Puts my "oh no - there's an unnoticeable floral pattern on the white table clothes" disaster into perspective. Here she is the day before the wedding cool as a cucumber. :)




#5 The Family Preparations

A whole different set of preparations were taking place at the family home. Massive amounts of food to be made, people to visit with, songs to be sung and dances to dance. Who cares about decorating with all this happiness around you?

The Dancing

Making Food for the Crowds

The Consumption of Beverages

We're ready for a wedding!